


Under pressure

by PerriewinkleNerdie



Category: Open Heart (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 11:22:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20759546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerriewinkleNerdie/pseuds/PerriewinkleNerdie
Summary: He is tired and isn't used to dealing with it for the sake of someone else. It all blows up in the worst moment possible





	Under pressure

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, hello, hello! I was impossibly frustrated and angry yesterday, so this angst just kind of poured out of me.  
Enjoy! <3

Ethan was tired. Everything around him was irritating him, making his blood boil. It all started when he walked into the hospital and three different interns asked him about the rankings. Then four people in the waiting room were trying to prove to him that the Internet was better at diagnosing the diseases of their loved ones than him, pushing him for answers he didn’t have yet. One of the patients refused to take his medication and sign the consent form for his surgery, that was necessary for him to survive, even though they had talked about it and he agreed to go though with it. His excuse was that his girlfriend came by and told him her uncle had the same symptoms and lived without the procedure.

Sitting on the couch in the evening, files and papers before him, he felt the tension of the whole day rising in him, like the waves hitting the shore further and further. His ears registered the front door opening and closing, Jenner running towards the person, his tail waggling happily. He didn’t even have to look up, knowing well it was Claire.

She walked up to him, standing over him and looking at the papers on the coffee table. She kissed his forehead lightly, offering some support before going to the kitchen.

“How was your day? Because mine was not the best. I had this awful patient in the morning, it was like a hurricane went through his room, absolute mess everywhere. Above it all, he refused to tell me what exactly his symptoms were, what meds he was on and his family’s history of diseases…”

Ethan knew she wasn’t doing anything wrong, deep down he knew he was about to overreact, but he couldn’t help it. A reaction was already on its way to his mouth, and before he could think twice about what he was about to say, words were on his lips.

“Oh god, Claire, can’t you just be quiet for once?” he snapped at her, his voice harsh. That made her stop dead in her tracks, silence falling over them both.

“If you didn’t want to listen you could’ve just said something…”

“_No, I couldn’t. _Because you never let me speak. Was there even a one situation in which you _shut up?_” something broke inside of him, all of his frustration pouring out of him at once. Immediately after saying those words he felt regret rise in his chest, but it was too late. The words were spoken and there was no going back from it.

Claire’s eyes shined as tears made their way to the surface. She really didn’t know what happened. One second he was calm, and the next he snapped, his words like a heavy blow. She took a shaky breath, not looking at him, before turning to grab her jacket and going towards the door without saying a word.

“Claire? Where are you going?” Ethan stood up from his place and went towards her, not understanding what was happening.

“I’m going out. I’ll sleep at Jackie’s place. If me talking is such a burden to you, you should have told me that sooner. You wouldn’t have to put up with me for so long.” Her eyes were hard, voice cold like ice, keeping her distance, not letting him come closer.

“Claire, I didn’t…”

“No, Ethan. _You did mean it. _Why else would you have said it if you didn’t mean it?”

“Claire, please…”

“I’m sorry I bothered you for so long.” With that, she turned to leave. He leaped forward, trying to catch her hand, to stop her from leaving him alone, but she managed to escape his grasp, walking out of the apartment, not looking back.

Ethan fell against the now closed door. she made sure he wouldn’t follow her, slamming the wooden panel against the frame with a loud slam. All Ethan could do was pray that she would come back soon, that she would make it to Jackie’s place and that he’ll see her tomorrow.

\----------

The next morning couldn’t come soon enough. Time seemed to slow down, moving at a torturous pace, dragging out his misery and pain.

She didn’t contact him. No phone calls, no text messages, nothing.

She was hurt, but he still though that she’ll let him know she’s okay, so he didn’t have to worry that much. But then again, he would worry either way.

Reluctantly, with no energy, he got out of bed, dragging himself towards the bathroom, getting ready for the day.

Every step he made towards the hospital made him more nervous and more hopeful at the same time. He felt horrible, like an asshole that he knew he was, but he also couldn’t wait to see her, beg her for forgiveness he wasn’t sure he deserved, but would do anything to make it up to her, make her forget about his poor behavior.

Upon entering the building everything seemed normal, fine. People were walking everywhere; new patients were being admitted in short intervals.

Nothing was pointing towards the tragedy of the next few minutes.

His pager beeped, notifying him that he was expected to go to the meeting room, that everyone was waiting for him already and that it was urgent. Without thinking twice about it, he made his way towards the said place.

Most of the doctors were there when he entered. Ethan debated between going more towards the front and staying by the door, ultimately deciding on staying by the door, should he need to make a quick escape.

Harper had a grim look on her face, something shined in her eyes, almost like… _tears._

“Thank you all for responding so quickly. I am afraid what I’m about to tell you will be tragic for most of you, please bear in mind that we are here to provide help should anyone need it. Last night we got a call from an anonymous number, a pedestrian, saying they found a young woman, robbed and beaten badly, with a big wound on her head, bleeding heavily. An ambulance was sent to the scene to bring her here and did everything we could to save her.” Harper stopped to take a deep breath, trying to control her own emotions and visibly failing.

“We managed to control the bleeding, nothing more seems to be wrong, all the test came back clear. She’s in a coma, and we have no idea when she’ll wake up. At this point we can’t be certain, it will all be known when she eventually wakes up. By now you’re probably wondering why I’m telling you all of this. Well, the reason I didn’t say who we were talking about yet was because I wanted you all to know what we were dealing with before you know who is in the room 708. Now, please, try to be as calm as you possibly can be, it won’t be easy but your panic won’t be good for anyone.”

He knew the storm was coming. What he didn’t know was just how hard it was going to hit him.

“The woman that was found on the street was Dr. Clarissa Herondale.” A collective gasp run through the room, a few cries could be heard, but all Ethan could hear was silence. Complete silence. And then screaming. A loud noise inside his head, blocking the outside world.

His mind was blank, frozen in place, unable to do anything, unable to make any decision. Then he was running.

He busted the door down, not caring how it looked, and it was as though he ran into the wall.

There she was, Claire, _his Claire_, his little melody, she was his single most important thing he could call his. Always so warm and happy, smiling widely, making all his worried disappear, like the sun coming out from behind the clouds.

Except now the clouds were there, thick and dark, not letting any light through. She was cold, emotionless, his melody silenced by the brutal force.

Ethan took two steps towards her, hesitant, unable to control the movement of his body. His knees gave out from underneath him, coming into contact with the floor with a sickening and empty sound.

Tears came next, on their own, flowing freely down his cheeks, revealing all of his pent-up emotions, letting them out.

He wasn’t sure how much time he spent on the floor. He wasn’t sure of anything in that moment. Standing up he made his way towards her bed, sitting down in the chair next to it, taking her hand in his, bringing it slowly to his face, pressing his lips to her soft, cold skin, more tears escaping his eyes.

Ethan had a few of his decisions that he regretted, but he was sure that he has never regretted anything more than he did snapping at her and _letting her go_.

When they were separating last evening, had he known it could be the last time he ever sees her… god, he was losing his mind.

Buried deep in his thought, he failed to hear Harper enter the room. She was the only person, besides Naveen, who knew about their relationship. She was worried about her newest friend she made, the two women getting closer and closer as each day went by. Placing her hand on his shoulder, making him aware that she was there too now, she asked, looking at the woman in bed.

“How are you holding up?” Harper’s voice was small, a fight inside of her too, trying desperately to push down her own tears.

“I…” he wasn’t even able to say a word, not without breaking apart. She knew him long enough to know better than to press him when he was in this state. Squeezing his shoulder lightly, she left him alone again, only him and Claire.

God only knows how much time passed before he had to stand up and leave her. Nothing made him more scared than the thought of her waking up and him not being there, by her side. A small voice inside his head was whispering about other things that could happen, but he pushed them away, not letting himself think for even a second about them.

He knew there was only one person right now that he could talk to.

Naveen was sitting on his bed, almost as if he was waiting for him to come through the door.

“Ethan! I was wondering when you’ll come by. Where is Claire?” the old man wasn’t aware of the damage his question would do, so when Ethan’s eyes became glossy again, his shoulders shaking, face expressing helplessness, he pointed towards the chair by his bed, extending his arms towards the young man he grew to love like a son.

Ethan stepped forward, falling into Naveen’s arms just as the next wave of hysteria and panic hit him. Tears were flowing, his body was shaking violently, his knuckles white from gripping the fabric of Naveen’s shirt to tightly.

No words were spoken, the mentor knew that Ethan would speak in his own time. After a few torturous minutes he finally leaned back, looking down at his hands before letting it all out.

“Claire… she’s in a coma. And they don’t know when she’ll wake up.”

“What happened?”

“Harper said she was brought in here after some pedestrian called 911, they said she was robbed and beaten…” his voice caught in his throat, more tears coming down his skin.

“Oh Ethan, it’s bad, but those things happen. The only person who’s to blame is that person who attacked her.” Naveen was trying to make him feel better, but he wouldn’t succeed.

“_It’s all my fault._ Mine, Naveen, no one else’s.”

“You cannot blame yourself for something you didn’t do.” Protest came from Naveen’s lips, but he was silenced by the attending.

“It _is_ my fault! We had a fight right before she went out and… I know she has anxiety, I know she needs to let it all out at the end of the day and I _love_ to listen to her, it’s like taking a dive into her mind. But I was so frustrated with everything that happened that day that I just… snapped. Words came out before I could do anything about it and… she wouldn’t let me talk to her, apologize, I couldn’t make her stay… and now she’s there. Alone, cold and silent. I don’t know if I’ll survive it, Naveen. I can’t do this without her, she’s all I have… well, and you…”

“I get it, you don’t have to explain it to me. I’m sure she’ll be okay. Don’t panic ahead of time. Now, go, eat something, you won’t do her any good if you hurt yourself because of it. She needs you; she needs to have someone to come back to.” he offered the younger man a sympathetic smile, squeezing his hands one last time before letting him go.

\----------------

Week has gone by, not much changing, as far as Claire’s condition went. Ethan was there every day, for multiple hours, sitting by her bed with her hand in his, talking to her, even though he had no way of knowing if she heard him.

Exhaustion was bound to catch up to him sooner or later, he knew that, but still refused to leave her side. He felt his head fall forward slowly, resting his forehead on her bed, touching her hand slightly.

When he woke up it was dark outside. He must have slept for a few hours. For a second he wasn’t sure why he woke up, but then he felt it again.

_Fingers running though his hair, just like Claire would do it._

He raised his head slowly, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes before focusing on her face. Blue eyes met green ones, wide open, full of confusion, but warm and inviting.

“Hi…” she whispered softly, her voice small, words hard to understand.

“Hi, baby…” Ethan took her hand in his again, kissing it tenderly before moving upward to hug her delicately, careful not to hurt her. She wound her arms around his neck, pulling him in for a real hug, not able to stand the distance between them.

“I’m so sorry…” Claire said against his ear. his face fell against her neck and shoulder, taking a deep breath. Suddenly something wet rolled down her skin. her hands went to up his face, leaning back to take a look at him.

_He was crying. _

His eyes were red and puffy, wrinkles visible now more than ever before.

“Ethan…” her heart broke at the sight of his tears. He was _broken_. The strongest man she knew, falling apart right before her eyes.

“It’s me who should be sorry. I know that you need to talk to avoid your anxiety. You don’t annoy me with your talking. _I love listening to your voice, _you’re letting me inside of your head, allowing me to see a part of this world through your eyes. I will be apologizing for it for the rest of my life if I have to, but I cannot risk losing you. Not now, not ever. _I need you. I love you._ And it seems as though I took you for granted. I’m never going to make that mistake again. _Please, forgive me_.” He cried again, clinging to her, desperate for any form of contact from her.

Her arms pulled her to him, laying back down against the bed, making him lay down next to her, despite his protests. She put her hand on his heart, beating under her fingers, strong and beautiful.

“There is nothing to forgive. I, too, overreacted, I shouldn’t have gone out that night. But that doesn’t matter now. It’s all in the past, let’s not let it spoil out future.” She kissed his cheek softly before bringing his lips down to meet hers, the kiss soft and sweet, expressing all of their emotions for one another, desperation in their every move, every touch, every kiss.

They would be okay. He believed it, just as much as he believed in her. In _them._


End file.
